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Sunday, April 01, 2007
Constipation Unveiled
April Fool calls for some laughter, even if it's some unintended pun from a perfectly sane and informative article.
Look what I've learnt from the article:
1) My small intestine is about 7m long;
2) Anything between three times per week and three per day (goodness!) is considered normal;
3) Even if you go daily or even a few times a day, you're considered constipated if you're struggling to pass small pellets each time and experience an incomplete sense of evacuation;
4) Foods to blame for stinky fart include eggs;
5) We expel about 200ml to 2500ml of gas a day (like, how the hell did they manage to measure it in the first place?);
6) The embarrassings sounds made are determined from the amount of gas being expelled, the force with which it is expelled, and any structure around the anus that might resonate;
7) The brown colour comes from the bile in your liver, which changes from green(lyndel will love this) to yellow(happy poop?) to brown as it passes through your intestines;
8) Poops can be divided into seven types: The Nut, The Lumpy Sausage, The Sausage with Cracks on the Surface, The Banana, Soft Blobs, Mush(!!!), Liquid;
9) The banana or sausage-shaped ones are the ones you should have;
10) I am constipated.
**
Reference: Khoo,B.K. Shape Magazine Singapore. Page 62: The Inside Job.
**
"Rather than madly rush about in the pursuit of happiness, slow down and recognise the estastic moments that already exist in you life."
"The beauty of life isn't getting what you want but really wanting what you have, loving life and making the best our of every situation."
"Slow down and take the time to recognise, for recognition is a prerequistre to appreciation, and only through appreciation will you finally reach your destination in your pursuit of happiness."
-Fiona Xie
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