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Monday, March 31, 2008
I don't love you, like I did yesterday.
You know, I think I don't haven't really loved anyone.Except, maybe, for myself. And grandma.
I've thought about it. I would die for the BFF, I would die for socker. I think I might die for kim and boon and psuan and meng and ken, if it doesn't hurt too much. I would die for cheryl. I would die for ezl. I would die a horrible death for enrica, the mom and the dad, The Dad and uncle adrian. I really would if I have to.
But I can't love them, I think. Because according to the BFF/God, “Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.” So there.
And, I miss the BFF. I miss her (patronizing) laughter, her puns, her bitchiness, the things that she'll go out of her way to do for me. I cannot believe that I haven't been on her ride yet, when I'm SO suppose to be the FIRSTEST to be on it. I miss having a life.
And I miss OL. Everyone is so MIA, except for the girls whom I see every other day during trainings. Been seeing psuan so much that we're saying the same thing at the same time, all the time. It's creeeepy.
It's not that I'm complaining though. I cannot think of a more fulfilling way to spend the holidays.
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