Uncle Adrian is ill. I cannot get that mental image of him looking so frail out of my mind. I hate going to Mount Elizabeth, because that is not a place where he should be. He should be behind his giant office table, in front of the kimono backdrop, making faces at the client he's talking to on the phone. He should be bringing me places, to fancy shops with tall, heavy doors and sales people who know him by name. He should be wrapping his big arms around my neck and announcing to everyone he knows, "Here's my niece. My daughter." He should be chiding me for not drinking enough water, for not taking my TotalCs, for not reminding him to top up my bank account, for not calling him often enough. He shouldn't be looking so frail. So deflated. 

"I'm sorry girl girl," he said, "we'll have to postpone our Japan trip to your next holiday. Please don't be mad at me alright?"

I don't want the Japan trip anymore, neither do I want that burberry purse, that wine cellar, that t&c heart charm, that apartment in Caribbean, that dinner at Iggy's, Au Jardin & Les Amis and what not. I promise I'll eat that darn Total C every single day. I'll even eat tofu and sign up for Japanese classes. Please just tell me that you'll be fine. I just want you to be fine.

*

Intensity of DT trainings are creeping up the scales. Don't feel comfortable being the focus during training. It should be a team effort, no? Everyone should have equal level of confidence carrying out the entire service sequence, it's not just about me. I hate to think what must be running through their minds when it's "let her do it." again and again. I know what I would think. "I should've just stayed at home." 

*

Haven't seen the BFF, nor the loves, nor you, for ages.

Sincere apologies, especially,

To the BFF for the perpetually postponed dinner date.

To meng for holding out the stomach at best denki for the past week.

To kenny, for not being able to head down to Batam as promised.

To you, for not being there.

*

You look alright.

Oh silly me.

You don't need me to be happy.

*

Allure.

Male instinct, the sex appeal.